The Social Nervous System: Speaking our Truth
Lancing the Wounded Heart by Jeanette Amlie
What does it take to feel liberated enough to “Speak our Truth”? As one who started public school at a pre-mature age, I felt a strong repression of my ability to talk about what was important to me....which was not reading, writing & arithmetic! It was drawing & dancing & singing that I was passionate about & good at, but that didn’t fit the curriculum. Over time I learned how to fit into this foreign system, but not without sacrificing that which was most dear to me, or more importantly, fitting those creative expressions into appropriate boxes that conformed to current norms.
So I am not surprised to find as I work with more & more people, especially mid-life women, that thyroid problems, TMJ, and numerous other ailments of the neck, throat & jaw seem to be fairly common. And when we work with them they almost always lead us right to the inability to feel safe in speaking the truth of our hearts & souls. For many of us were indeed taught to be seen & not heard by our schools & cultures & religions even if not by our loving parents. Much of this was not even blatant, but so subliminal we don’t recognize the power of it’s influence.
And so I was profoundly grateful when a little exercise was shared with me by Lee Cartwright, who is a wonderful healer in Santa Fe, who helped me remember to speak a deeper truth that is often a bit taboo in our society. As I worked to shift the held tension & energy in my own neck & shoulders, that western doctors believed was due to my past profession, I began to see how much my old patterns of verbal repression had helped to lock this contraction into my body. (See the link to the exercise at the bottom of this page)
And over time I have begun to realize how crucial this part of the body is in reactivating what Stephen Porges calls the “Social Engagement Nervous System”. For it is in the face & neck that we first register tension when we subtly or blatantly detect the threat of disapproval. We have highly refined abilities to read the subtle muscles in the face of another person or their eye contact or nuances of their mouth or whether they really heard what we said. All of this immediately influences our entire organism & can activate our sympathetic nervous system, which begins to take our social faculties off-line & replace them with heightened blood pressure, rapid respiration & major muscles that are ready to fight or flight. Needless to say this is not highly conducive to clear communication or social grace.
So beginning to notice the situations & ways that our social engagement nervous system begins to be compromised can be very beneficial in regaining our natural ability to express ourselves with ease. Are there situations when you find it hard to make eye contact? Or is there someone who just never seems to hear what you are trying to say, or likewise is there someone you have a difficult time understanding? Do you feel a nervous & rather artificial smile on your lips at some dinner parties or family reunions? And of course TMJ & thyroid problems are exacerbated if not caused by the unnatural tension that is held in our jaw & throat over long periods of time. All of this is related to our social nervous systems.
Liberating our ability to express ourselves verbally is an important step for many people in their healing journey. This does not mean finally being able to say whatever comes into our minds, for our minds have been heavily conditioned too. Yet it does mean that we begin to find ways to express what is really going on & not allow ourselves to be stifled by repressive systems, people & beliefs that do not reflect our true nature.
To explore this more deeply I invite you to check out the little Somatic Exercise - "Internal Storms: Jaw Releases.
♡ Jeanette
So I am not surprised to find as I work with more & more people, especially mid-life women, that thyroid problems, TMJ, and numerous other ailments of the neck, throat & jaw seem to be fairly common. And when we work with them they almost always lead us right to the inability to feel safe in speaking the truth of our hearts & souls. For many of us were indeed taught to be seen & not heard by our schools & cultures & religions even if not by our loving parents. Much of this was not even blatant, but so subliminal we don’t recognize the power of it’s influence.
And so I was profoundly grateful when a little exercise was shared with me by Lee Cartwright, who is a wonderful healer in Santa Fe, who helped me remember to speak a deeper truth that is often a bit taboo in our society. As I worked to shift the held tension & energy in my own neck & shoulders, that western doctors believed was due to my past profession, I began to see how much my old patterns of verbal repression had helped to lock this contraction into my body. (See the link to the exercise at the bottom of this page)
And over time I have begun to realize how crucial this part of the body is in reactivating what Stephen Porges calls the “Social Engagement Nervous System”. For it is in the face & neck that we first register tension when we subtly or blatantly detect the threat of disapproval. We have highly refined abilities to read the subtle muscles in the face of another person or their eye contact or nuances of their mouth or whether they really heard what we said. All of this immediately influences our entire organism & can activate our sympathetic nervous system, which begins to take our social faculties off-line & replace them with heightened blood pressure, rapid respiration & major muscles that are ready to fight or flight. Needless to say this is not highly conducive to clear communication or social grace.
So beginning to notice the situations & ways that our social engagement nervous system begins to be compromised can be very beneficial in regaining our natural ability to express ourselves with ease. Are there situations when you find it hard to make eye contact? Or is there someone who just never seems to hear what you are trying to say, or likewise is there someone you have a difficult time understanding? Do you feel a nervous & rather artificial smile on your lips at some dinner parties or family reunions? And of course TMJ & thyroid problems are exacerbated if not caused by the unnatural tension that is held in our jaw & throat over long periods of time. All of this is related to our social nervous systems.
Liberating our ability to express ourselves verbally is an important step for many people in their healing journey. This does not mean finally being able to say whatever comes into our minds, for our minds have been heavily conditioned too. Yet it does mean that we begin to find ways to express what is really going on & not allow ourselves to be stifled by repressive systems, people & beliefs that do not reflect our true nature.
To explore this more deeply I invite you to check out the little Somatic Exercise - "Internal Storms: Jaw Releases.
♡ Jeanette