Training the Ego to Speak its Truth
Truth Bound by LJAmlie
Recently I have been questioning some of the ways we have been encouraged to "speak our truth" as psychology & many forms of therapy often advise. It can be a long road if we believe that we must actually live out & re-pattern all of the ways we may have been developmentally impaired by early years of repression. Unfortunately, even when we are trying to speak non-violently & own our part in a challenging situation, it still seems as if we are more often then not trying to give voice to the misperceptions of our ego while we are totally immersed in the ego. It may feel good to "vent" that which may have been bottled up for some time, but does it really change anything for the better? Is our goal really to train the ego to do a better job of communicating it's limited & defensive beliefs? Perhaps it is wiser to recognize the somatic & emotional red flags right away & call a time out in order to check into "who" is so upset & about what? For when we do this we are turning the mind back in on itself & questioning the very belief in one's ability to be hurt by anything or anyone. This is neither indulgence in the experience nor defense or repression of it, but rather the conscious willingness to investigate it honestly. And this throws us back directly to the most fundamental conditioned belief of all - that we are a personal entity that is separate from the Source from which we come.
I have learned enough about the human nervous system to know that cognitive functioning is dramatically impaired whenever the organism feels threatened & automatically goes into fight or flight. I have also learned many ways to interrupt & defuse this cascade of internal responses. And although these techniques do help rewire our automatic trauma responses, they still can never get to the core issue of believing that our existence is limited to this BodyHeartMind organism. In my experience, only direct inquiry seems to have the ability to cut through the aeons of conditioning that has convinced us that having a well behaved ego is really any kind of accomplishment at all. Now I will grant that in the beginning it can be very helpful to discharge enough of the pent up energy in a functional way using exercises or therapies so that we can even consider sitting still & inquiring directly into the source within us. I will admit that it then can become easier to sit & turn the mind in on itself with the query of what else is here, who or what has been here all along that does not fluctuate with the changing moods & circumstances. But at a certain point no more "fixing" & "healing" is going to lead us to the truth of who we are.
Ironically, it is often getting fed up with the idea that one more therapy, or technique or product or practice is going to make it all better, which allows something quite different to happen. That is when we may discover a readiness within us to question the foundation of all of our beliefs. We may be willing to discover for ourselves what the most essential & imperishable truth is, which cannot be taught or practiced or acquired. So herein lies the deepest gift of our struggles....that we are finally so fed up & exhausted with the circuitous bouts of striving that we are willing to give it up, even for a moment. The mind & emotions & body can fall silent in their exhaustion & we can begin to perceive that there is a peaceful presence that has literally been witnessing this internal war all along, just waiting to be noticed. Then we can become curious enough to begin to take the time to investigate this peaceful presence on a regular basis & we may even begin to realize that every time a "knot" comes up in our lives that it is an ideal opportunity to discover this truth a little deeper. And maybe, just maybe we will be fortunate enough to discover that we really don't have to spend this miraculous life-force trying to fix or solve our life....& then what is possible cannot even be imagined.
♡ Jeanette Amlie
I have learned enough about the human nervous system to know that cognitive functioning is dramatically impaired whenever the organism feels threatened & automatically goes into fight or flight. I have also learned many ways to interrupt & defuse this cascade of internal responses. And although these techniques do help rewire our automatic trauma responses, they still can never get to the core issue of believing that our existence is limited to this BodyHeartMind organism. In my experience, only direct inquiry seems to have the ability to cut through the aeons of conditioning that has convinced us that having a well behaved ego is really any kind of accomplishment at all. Now I will grant that in the beginning it can be very helpful to discharge enough of the pent up energy in a functional way using exercises or therapies so that we can even consider sitting still & inquiring directly into the source within us. I will admit that it then can become easier to sit & turn the mind in on itself with the query of what else is here, who or what has been here all along that does not fluctuate with the changing moods & circumstances. But at a certain point no more "fixing" & "healing" is going to lead us to the truth of who we are.
Ironically, it is often getting fed up with the idea that one more therapy, or technique or product or practice is going to make it all better, which allows something quite different to happen. That is when we may discover a readiness within us to question the foundation of all of our beliefs. We may be willing to discover for ourselves what the most essential & imperishable truth is, which cannot be taught or practiced or acquired. So herein lies the deepest gift of our struggles....that we are finally so fed up & exhausted with the circuitous bouts of striving that we are willing to give it up, even for a moment. The mind & emotions & body can fall silent in their exhaustion & we can begin to perceive that there is a peaceful presence that has literally been witnessing this internal war all along, just waiting to be noticed. Then we can become curious enough to begin to take the time to investigate this peaceful presence on a regular basis & we may even begin to realize that every time a "knot" comes up in our lives that it is an ideal opportunity to discover this truth a little deeper. And maybe, just maybe we will be fortunate enough to discover that we really don't have to spend this miraculous life-force trying to fix or solve our life....& then what is possible cannot even be imagined.
♡ Jeanette Amlie